The Last Song

You can tell Miley Cyrus is trying to show her character is filled with dramatic, painful agony because she scrunches up her face like a Cabbage Patch Doll (or Renee Zellweger). Good luck with that acting career.

Cyrus stars as Ronnie - a troubled teen angry at her Dad (Greg Kinnear), angry at her Mom (Kelly Preston), and just plain angry at the world. Now, she's stuck spending the summer in a quaint beach house with Dad and her little, annoying brother, Jonah (Bobby Coleman). Of course, Ronnie never recovered from the anguish over her parents' divorce, gave up on her dreams of being a pianist, and fell in with the wrong crowd. Yet, you have a feeling all of that is about to change (because that's what happens in movies)

As she spends time in this little town, Ronnie starts to meet the locals, including Will (Liam Hemsworth) - the volleyball playing dude who rarely wears a shirt and showcases the most intense blonde highlights this side of Kirstie Alley (honey, you are a brunette, the blonde hair makes you look even fatter).

Will Ronnie allow Will into her heart?

As she spends time with Dad, will the old wounds heal?

Can director Julie Anne Robinson deliver the beach volleyball scene America has been craving for since Top Gun?

The Last Song has very little to offer any moviegoer who has experienced puberty. Sadly, it puts every cliché ever invented on display, then gives Miley Cyrus haters enough material to keep them in business until the Jonas Brothers go gray.

While watching The Last Song, you have to ask yourself, "what's stiffer and more horrendous, the acting or the dialogue?" Granted, the script doesn't do them any favors, but Cyrus and Hemsworth both come off as affected and vacant.

Hemsworth proves he was hired for his teeth and abs instead of his acting skill as he only succeeds when his mouth is shut and his shirt is off. I started hoping for volleyball scenes, so I wouldn't have to listen to his voice reciting lines and attempting to be funny and romantic when he is neither.

Then, it is outright painful to witness Cyrus struggling in her big dramatic moments and forcing every word as a great actor like Kinnear blows her away without trying. It's like watching me attempting to play one-on-one with LeBron James.

She is forcing every emotion and making it clear she is acting, while Kinnear has an easygoing, effortless style that shows you he has become the character. I saw the movie with a bunch of people who won tickets through a local radio station, and they were laughing at her big dramatic scene, when a good actress would have had the audience in tears. Sure, Cyrus sells more tickets, but you could walk onto the streets of Hollywood and pick out 100 young actresses who are better.

Finally, The Last Song wouldn't be a Nicholas Sparks inspired movie (it's based on one of his books) without a bunch of melodramatic twists towards the end, but it becomes tiring as one after the other is piled on, so get ready for a movie that feels like it will never end, no matter how hard you pray to your God.

The Last Song is rated PG for thematic material, some violence, sensuality and mild language.